Engaging our children in the parsha

The following are some suggestions of ideas for conversations with our children by the Shabbos meals. The key here is to get the children involved through debate and stimulation.

Bechira – free choice

At the end of Parshas Nitzovim it talks about bechira, free choice. How often in life to you have to exercise this? When was the last time you had to make a life decision? People usually think of free choice being used occasionally for big things. However, closer analysis will show us that bechira is something that is happening constantly!

Let us take an average day. The alarm clock rings. The question here is do i get up now or turn on the snooze button? Do i go to shul or daven at home? In shul, do i get easily distracted or force myself to concentrate? This is how the day goes on. Many times these actions and their results will repeat themselves each day without the person consciously making a decision. This is because the person has made this decision habit by doing it a few times and therefore does it without even thinking.

R’ Dessler talks about נקודת הבחירה, the point of bechira. This means that where a person will have to now make a decision will change as they go through life. Habit takes a decision and makes it second nature to a person and therefore his free choice on doing this action has been minimised and goes up to the next level build on it. For example, a person makes a decision to go to shul and then does so for the next thirty days. This means that for him going to shul is not really much of a decision. However, now the new decision built on this will be when to be in shul for – on time, late or even early. As a person goes through level they enter new levels of bechira.

Besides occurring within our every day actions, there will be times for the need of big bechira decisions – e.g. what school/yeshiva/job to go to?