Engaging our children in the parsha

The following are some suggestions of ideas for conversations with our children by the Shabbos meals. The key here is to get the children involved through debate and stimulation.

Arvus

In Parshas Ki Sovoi it brings the curses said by the mountains of Grizim and Eivol. These new blessings and curses introduced a new concept to the Jews – Arvus. Arvus is where each Jew is responsible for the revealed actions of another Jew. This was clearly seen in the times of Yehoshua where the Jews lost in battle due to the actions of Ochein who stole some spoils of war and kept them for himself.

How is this seen in Parshas Ki Sovoi with these curses? These curses all deal with sins done in secrecy. By two of them the possuk adds the word “beseiser”, “in secrecy”, since these sins can be done either in public or private. Since these sins are done in private, therefore others cannot be held responsible and therefore Hashem will take of them in the form of these curses. This implies that all other public sins are the responsibility of the community and fellow Jews to deal with them.

Is this fair? Why should someone else’s bad actions effect me? Why could it not simply be “every man for himself”?

Togetherness

What does the Torah have to say about this? If we were to pick people who carried out the motto of “every man for himself” who would they be? The Mishna is Pirkei Avos says that שלי שלי שלך שלך י”א זו מדת סדום, what is mine is mine and what is your is yours. The people of Sdom did not like guests. When they gave a poor man charity they would write their name on the money and no one would give him food. When he would die, they would all take their money back! Another word to describe this is selfish. They only thought about things in terms of what would benefit them the most.

In contrast to them was Avrohom, the founder of Judaism, who was known for his inviting of guests. He was known for his kindness and selflessness. The Jews, his offspring, inherit this characteristic. We have the positive mitzva of ואהבת לרעך כמוך, loving your fellow Jew like yourself, and ולא תשנא אחיך בלבבך, not hating your brother in your heart. Of course, we recognise that when faced with a situation of either you or your friend that חייך קודמין, you life comes first. However, the fellow Jew is not simply someone else but is someone with strong connections to you. What does this mean?

One soul

When Odom sinned, it was not simply one person sinning. Otherwise we can have complaints – why should one man sin and everyone else be culpable? The answer is that Odom was formed from all the souls of mankind and they jointly made a conscious decision to sin. Therefore they are all punishable. The Jews are all connected coming from one source of souls. Together all Jews form one person. Like a person has different types of limbs, some more important than others, so too with different souls. The brain and heart and more essential for living than a finger or toe seen if they are in some way chas vesholom removed. Some souls are from a higher source than others. However, all together they form one soul. Like if one part of the body is hurt the rest of the body feels it, so too is the idea of arvus – when one Jews is hurt this effects and is felt by everyone spiritually.