Engaging our children in the parsha
The following are some suggestions of ideas for conversations with our children by the Shabbos meals. The key here is to get the children involved through debate and stimulation.
A “choik”: Where to draw the line
My children very often ask me, “why did you do that?”. I answer “because i wanted to”. Then then persist and say, “but why did you want to?”. Parshas Chukas teaches us an important lesson in chinuch that we must try and impart to our children. The idea is that we do something without understanding it (fully). Parshas Chukas teaches us about the Pora Aduma, the red heifer, whom even the wisest person, King Shlomo, could not fully fathom. It is a choik – something that is not understand. Hashem gave us “mishpotim”, mitzvas that we intellectually understand why we should do. However, He also gave us “chukim”, statutes, for the reason of teaching us that we must do things simply without understanding!
We find this idea already by our acceptance of the Torah, without coercion. We said Na’asa Venishma, first we said we will do before listening and understanding what this entails. This fundamental difference is what separates us from the goyim and hence Rashi (19:2) brings that the goyim use the chukim as an attack. The goyim, when offered the Torah, had to first understand what was written in it and if it made sense to them. I try and train my children with the answer, “because i wanted to”, to teach them that they should do things without the need to understand the reason. To accept doing things because Hashem commanded us to do it as a decree. We are his servants. A servant does not question his master with “why?”.
Death: how to address it
How do we speak to children about death? Most people shy away from it scared to describe this sensitive issue. However, it a subject that they may come across in the news or from friends and therefore in order to be preemptive it needs dealing with and discussing. A great way to do this is from Parshas Chukas that describes the death of Miriam and Aaron. It is a good place to start since it shows that death is not only synonymous with a negative experience but can even be something positive. Miriam and Aaron both died the best possible form of death: Misas Neshika, “kiss of death” – (See Brochos 8a).
Death is a transitional stage of leaving from this physical world to the next spiritual world. Death is the journey of travelling. It is where the Neshama, soul, leaves the guf, body, behind. Like all journeys, sometimes they can be comfortable and sometimes painful and even dangerous. Ever been on a hovercraft in choppy waters, or an aeroplane in a storm? The level of easiness of this journey depends on how spiritual a person is. The more spiritual, like Miriam and Aaron, the easier the move over. However, the more steeped a person is in this physical world, the more he is attached to this world and the harder the transition to the next.
Nechash Nechoishes: the copper snake
Imagine a situation where suddenly people in the country get bitten by snakes. What would be your initial reaction and solution? You would say that we must deal with the problem immediately by bringing in professional snake killers. We would put extra security on houses from snakes and people would travel around armed. This would be the natural reaction. However, when this happens in Parshas Chukas, we might be surprised at their response! The Jews complained about the Mon, and were punished with being bitten by snakes. The Jews then came to Moshe and asked him to daven for their welfare. They realised that every physical action is brought about through a spiritual root. Here they came looking for the miraculous cure – for Moshe to daven for them.
Hashem then tells Moshe to do something that at first glance looks weird. He tells him to set up a copper snake on a pillar. Anyone who gets bitten should go to see it. What lies behind this seemingly bizarre command?…